Sweet William's Cookie Monster
by teaonthestairs
Summary: AU Parody. Buffy Anne Strasburg is a AfricanAmerican Cookie monster who finds love in the most unusual place.


Sweet William's Cookie Monster

**By Rosie**

For my beautiful Meals, who was my Muse for this weird concoction. 

Disclaimer: Not mine, no matter how much I wish it was. 

A/N: I mean no offence at all to anyone with this Fanfiction. Meals (Xanya-Forever) and Me, just find Buffy Fanfictions that have nothing to do with the BtVS world at all incredibly funny. So we decided to write a series of AU parodies. Meals has a truly fantastic Parody that involves Buffy as a Buddhist Monk. Go read. Can I ask you a favour, please review even if its to say "oh gosh go crawl back under that rock which you come' Though I have a feeling you might not use the word Gosh. But yeah every review welcome. Crapping on….  

~+~

Buffy Anne Strasburg was an African/American Cookie monster who spent most of the year at a German boarding school with her two best friends. They were Willow Rosenberg - a strict Christian who only spoke Japanese, and Alexander Harris - a spoilt rich boy who adored his parents. Buffy's arch antagonist was Cordelia Chase, a poor Polish student who loved to eat cheeseburgers whenever she could. Buffy hated Cordelia because when they were five, Cordelia had stolen Buffy's boyfriend, Sweet William, an Australian shy boy who had a stutter. Buffy had devastated when Sweet William had moved away and she was convinced it was because of Cordelia's smell, so everyday she stole a bucket of cheese from the kitchens and dumped it on Cordelia, who was a mute so she couldn't complain. 

As the end of the year rolled around, Buffy decided that this year she would visit her poor colour-blind mother who lived in a small town in the middle of the rainforest. So off Buffy went, swinging her pitch-black hair around her shoulders and limping on her deformed knee. When Buffy cruised into the small town in the middle of the rainforest on her new pink bike that the Sisters at the boarding school had given her, she was greeted by all the town's people of the little town in the middle of the rainforest. You see, she was actually really famous because she was the first African/American cookie monster with a deformed knee and three fingers. After signing thousands of photographs and posing nude for the cover of Rolling-Stone, she went to her mother's shack which was stationed next to the jail in the town's centre square. 

Her mother was so happy to see her that she jumped out of her wheel chair and did the Haka. Buffy was very embarrassed because Joyce was wearing three different pairs of Spanish knee high socks! Buffy let out a sobbing scream and ran as fast as she could away from the fashion disaster that was her mother. Because Buffy was also nearly blind, she didn't see the jail until she ran smack-bang into its western wall. 

"Oh dreary me!" Buffy shouted, rubbing her sore head. Suddenly she heard a sound. She turned her head right and left making herself quite dizzy. 

"Who shouted out my name just now'" She yelled, her high pitched Southern accent clogging her speech. Out of a window, a metre above her hairline, popped a head! 

"Tally ho! It was me who shouted out your name!" Buffy looked up into the man's deep blue orbs and almost wept, as she recognized him at once! It was her Sweet William! 

"Oh William! Is that you? It's me – your beloved Buffy who you left because you thought Cordelia was better at chess!! Do you recognize me?" 

"Of course I do, ducks, and I still love you. Cordelia tempted me away but my love for you was ever strong!" Buffy wept some more. 

Oh Sweet William was the man of her dreams and she needed to marry him right away, but first she must get him out of the small unfashionable cell that he was stuck in. She decided that killing a whole bus of girl scouts wasn't a bad thing at all, I mean everybody hates girl scouts. So Buffy ran around the front of the jail, and the prison warden was so impressed by Buffy's pale skin and frog like ears that he agreed that Sweet William should be let out right then! 

At the end of the day Buffy was pregnant with Sweet William's babies and 3 months later they had a baby pterodactyl and six sets of twins. And they lived happily ever after. The End. 

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End file.
